Team RWBY : The Hidden Gastronome Chronicles
by SanguisAnima
Summary: Everything started with a one-shot that I completed in 5 minutes, while eating no less. Now it's going to be a collection of one-shots.
1. 1: Yang's Hidden Talent

A/N : This actually came outta nowhere, while I was nomming a loaf of soft bread. I was contemplating how seemingly easy, yet actually complicated, the business of baking was... And then it hit me.

Enjoy this li'l one-shot I finished in, what, five minutes...?

**DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN RWBY. ALL CREDIT GOES TO (RWBYGOD) MONTY OUM AND ROOSTERTEETH.**

I sincerely hope you enjoy.

* * *

Yang huffed as she made her way back to their table. Lunch was the usual fare, nothing too special or noteworthy, but for some reason she just felt something was off with the slice of bread that came along with her tray of food.

Ruby immediately noticed her sister's somewhat dour mood. "Hey sis, why the long face at lunch? Something wrong?"

The blonde smiled gently and shook her head. "Nah... Just... Something's not _quite_ right..."

Nora pointed at Yang's plate with her fork. "I know what's not right there. You're not eating a balanced meal!"

Ren simply shook his head before spearing a few carrots on his own fork. "Don't talk with a full mouth, Nora. You know that already." He then turned to Yang, who still eyed her plate rather disdainfully. "But she's right, you must balance your diet. Yin and Yang must be in perfect balance to achieve harmony, inside and out."

Pyrrha glanced sideways, thoughtfully chewing on a mouthful of steak. "Is that one of your mystical philosphies, Ren?"

The conversation went on around them, Blake not really participating, but keeping an eye on the blonde. She still hadn't touched her plate.

Blake inwardly sighed and was about to close her book, when a sudden slam of palms on their table shook her back. Yang was now standing up, eyes still on her plate, but with a look that implied she had found a cure for all illness. "I've got it!"

"You've got what?" Weiss asked, rather uninterested, as she continued her meal in silent grace, unaffected by the blonde's sudden burst of energy.

Yang grinned at them and grabbed the bread slice, then popped it in her mouth. "Tomorrow, you'll see what I mean." She then proceeded to sit and wolf down the rest of her meal.

The next day, all of team JNPR and Ruby, Weiss and Blake were at their table, but Yang was nowhere to be seen. Ruby kept on turning her head, trying to spot her sister's unmistakable cowlick across the sea of heads. "Where is she...? Yang said yesterday..."

Blake was also discreetly searching, but failed to find her partner's bright hair. That is, until about three seconds later when she saw a rather surprising sight.

Yang was approaching them, her normal clothes covered by an apron and her head with a chef's _toque blanche_ set on top. She was pushing a trolley and something divinely fragrant was coming from the platter it held.

The aroma was simply enticing, as everyone the blonde passed stopped whatever they were doing and turned, eyes closed and taking a deep whiff. Even Weiss couldn't help but do the same and whisper, "That is certainly _heavenly_..."

Ruby was on her feet, standing by the trolley. "Er... What's in this, sis?"

Yang grinned and put one flour-dusted hand on top of the shiny cover. "I proudly present to y'all..."

She paused for dramatic effect. Feeling the eyes of everyone on her, she lifted the cover with a flourish, unleashing the full aroma of the platter's content. "Ta-daaah! My own specialty baked buns!"

The platter held eight pieces of round bread, each one roughly two hands' full, and quite obviously freshly made. On the surface, nothing was too special about the appearance of the golden brown crust, but even Blake's mouth was starting to water when the blonde cut into one and halved it. Inside was a filling of a combination of soft meat, steamed vegetables, and a few peas.

Jaune was the first to comment and reach out for one. "Wow, you made these?"

Yang grinned triumphantly as she handed out one for each. "Yup, and I'm damn proud of 'em!"

Blake tried to hide the eagerness in her voice, but her eyes belied it. "I never knew you could do something like this." Ruby nodded assent as she bit into the bun in her hands, savoring the meaty and savory aroma.

"Eh, not like I could do this everyday. Besides, nobody asked."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Showoff." However, she herself couldn't hide the satisfaction in her face as she slowly chewed.

Yang clapped her hands in front of her. "Alright, mission accomplished! Oh, and I also taught the cooks how to do that. They liked it so much, said they'll make this once a week." With that, Yang took a big bite out of her own bun, chewing in contentment. _Hey, it's not everyday I get to do something like this_, she thought to herself._ Besides, you don't see a brawler baker everyday, do ya?_

* * *

Heh, I wasn't really thinking while my hands typed all that out. I put all blame to the sinfully soft bread I was snacking on earlier.

Oh, and _toque blanche_ means 'white hat' (literally) in French, and if you do a Google image search you'll see that this is the chef's hat everyone's so familiar with.

Now that I have had a few moments to read through this, I think it makes sense. After all, innately warm hands make for a good batch of loaves. (Yakitate Ja-Pan, anyone?)


	2. 2: Survival Mode, On

**A/N : Whoa. 100+ views for my first cook-fic in a span of 3 hours?**

**Wow.**

**Seriously, thanks.**

**HetaliaFan**: I see where you probably got the idea... I was tempted to change it to pork buns too, but decided I'd just leave it at that.

**Craxuan**: I know it sounds somewhat unbelievable, but I did finish the first one in just under 5 minutes. That's what happens to me if and when powerful inspiration strikes, and a really good idea just makes my mind drone on and on until it either blacks my muse out or the idea plays itself out.

Anyways, I was seriously considering keeping this a one-shot, but my officemates liked it so much (they also watch RWBY, got to convince them, so yay for numbers!) they asked me to do one for Ruby as well.

So now we have (or will have) a collection of gastronomical one-shots! In no particular order, though.

**DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN RWBY. ALL CREDIT GOES TO (RWBYGOD) MONTY OUM AND ROOSTERTEETH.**

**Let the show begin!**

* * *

Ruby glanced over at everyone. Weiss was visibly breathing deeply, Blake's reaction time was slowing noticeably, and Yang's timing was getting skewed off.

She decided it was enough. They were all working themselves too far. "Alright, everyone, let's take a break," she said a _little_ too high-pitched.

Weiss turned on her, indignant. "What?! No! We haven't even gotten half of the timing right!" Ruby mentally rolled her eyes at this. _Weiss, ever the perfectionist._

Blake eased her stance, lowering her arms. "Ruby has a point. We've been performing poorly this past hour. We should take a break."

Yang yawned widely, stretching her arms. "Idunno 'bout you guys but I'm absolutely famished. Wonder what they have in the cafeter- Wait, I forgot, we're in the middle of nowhere..."

Weiss crossed her arms and audibly _hmph_'ed. "And where do you propose to get food at this ungodly place?"

Ruby looked around. They were dropped off in this spot some four hours ago, with a crate of something they didn't bother checking at the time. Granted, she was curious what it contained, but Weiss' rare burst of enthusiasm at the team assignment that Glynda herself gave each team to do pushed the idea to the back of her mind. Now it resurfaced, as she walked around the wooden box, nailed shut with Beacon Academy's logo stencil-painted over each side.

Apparently, Blake was also curious as to the box's content. "What do you suppose is inside?"

Ruby peered a little closer, trying to look for telltale cracks or openings. "I don't know yet..."

Everyone turned as a familiar cocking sound came up. "Then let's find out!" Three pairs of eyes were now on Yang, about a foot away from the box, directly opposite of Blake's. The blonde's right arm was bent back, in a pose all of them knew too well - Yang was readying for a power shot with her fist and Ember Celica.

"No! Don't do it you—!" Weiss' arm shot up, about to stop Yang...

Then the explosion came, and the smoke. "—You blonde dolt." Weiss finished in a low tone, her arm going down in exasperation.

The box's contents were apparently safe, so Blake decided to inspect closer. "This... Appears to be..."

Ruby pulled out a meat cleaver out of the pile effortlessly, holding it up. "Kitchen utensils!"

Blake's golden eyes narrowed. "... Are they going to have us stay here for more than a day...?"

Weiss sighed, plucking out a steel mug. "Perhaps. But I suppose they could have at least made sure there was some sort of food ready..."

Ruby smiled, gently at first, increasing by the minute. "But they did! Look, there's a river nearby, then there's the wild animals we've seen since we got here, and I'm sure we can find edible nuts and berries here—"

Yang interrupted the red-haired girl's increasing speedtalking. "Wait, wait, wait, wait. You mean there's ACTUALLY something we can eat here?"

Ruby, still in good spirits, nodded and grinned. "Yeah, I've read somewhere that a river is the easiest place to get food in a pinch. We can get freshwater mussels, or catch fish, and lots of edible plants grow near water."

Blake hid a smile. "It looks like all your time in the library is paying off."

"Yeah, and if we're just careful about it, we can also catch some wild animals and cook some stew!" Ruby went on, her hands rubbing together.

Weiss suppressed a smile at their leader's energy. "That's fine and all, but how do you propose that we— hey!"

Ruby had disappeared in a shower of rose petals, zinging past Weiss and leaving some petals drifting towards the heiress' face. A few moments later, Ruby came zipping back with a few cattail tubers in her hand, holding them out to the white-haired girl. "Here! Cattail tubers, these are pretty good. Although I think we should boil them, or something..."

Blake took them from the younger girl's hand and headed straight to the now-destroyed box, pulling out various pots and pans. "Leave these to me. You go and get us something to eat."

Ruby's grin grew wider. "On it!"

About half an hour later, they saw Ruby struggling with something by the treeline. Yang was the first to saunter towards the red cloaked girl. "Hey sis! Anything weighing you down?"

Ruby only grunted in response and tugged at something beyond the blonde's line of sight. Upon coming closer, Yang couldn't stop a gasp.

Ruby was singlehandedly pulling a male hart stag, freshly killed and almost halved - quite obviously from Crescent Rose - by herself.

Yang edged Ruby off, took a deep breath, and shoved her hands under the large carcass. She then grunted deeply and heaved the dead animal off of the ground and onto her shoulders, the weight somewhat unexpected as she nearly buckled forward. Ruby tried to help by attempting to balance the weight, but Yang just grinned at her. "You go on ahead sis, I'll take care of this for ya."

"What in the world is the meaning of th— wow." Weiss was struck speechless at the size of the animal on Yang's shoulders. It was easily the size of a full grown Ursa, and about the same bulk.

"That's quite the kill. Should last us for a few days, at least." Blake had also come closer, nodding slightly in approval at Ruby's kill.

"Uh, guys, can y'all get outta the way? This thing's HEAVY!" Yang gritted her teeth and started trudging towards camp.

"Huh, and you were the one who asked what was weighing me down." Ruby said to no one in particular, causing Yang to groan and Weiss to stifle a chuckle.

Later, the three other girls decided Ruby would be the one to cook. "Why me?!" the younger girl had wailed.

"Because it was your idea we stop for a break," Weiss pointed her forefinger at her leader's nose. "And besides, you can't expect me to do something so menial as cooking—"

"But you'll have to, eventually." Yang cut in, slyly winking at Blake. "It's always a wise move to learn what you can."

"Did you just insult me?" The Schnee girl narrowed her blue eyes at the blonde's lilac ones. "I swear I have never been so—"

"Relax, Weiss, Yang didn't mean anything rude," Ruby gently put a hand on her partner's shoulder while stepping directly between them. "But she's right, it's a wi-I mean, a smart move to learn whatever you can. It's what anyone would have expected of you."

Yang shrugged while Blake only sighed from behind her book. "Not my fault your name sounded close. But I'll just shut up now."

Ruby turned back to cooking while the two remained staring daggers at each other, Blake completely unmoved.

Ruby wore a makeshift apron and held the meat cleaver in her left hand. "Now... Taste my blade!" The knife went up, paused in mid-air for a few seconds, and descended upon meat, tomatoes, mushroom, carrots, and celery.

She paused at the last item on the chopping board (Yang's initial reaction to it was, "Seriously? EVEN a CHOPPING BOARD?! Wow, how thoughtful"). It was a big, red onion. Ruby approached it with trepidation, aware of its ability to reduce everyone to tears. Literally.

Hesitation finally overcame Ruby, for the first time. Blake noticed this from the corner of her eye,a nd lowered the book. "Is anything the matter, Ruby?"

Ruby turned, a sheepish grin on her face. "Y-Yeah, t-totally fine!" She turned back to the chopping board and the lone onion, psyching herself up. "I can do this! If I could find a way to take down a Nevermore, I can take down one onion!"

An idea struck the red-haired girl. She put down the knife, reached behind her, and whiffed Crescent Rose a few times around her. Three seconds later, the onion slid downward, sliced cleanly diagonally across. "Success!"

About an hour later, Ruby was humming as she was taking off her apron. The aroma of a hearty stew was in the air, and Yang was already fidgety waiting for it. Blake would glance up every now and then, impatience becoming obvious in the golden orbs. The Schnee heiress was also obviously trying to hide her impatience, but broke first. "How much longer is that going to be, Ruby?"

"Not much longer," the redhead answered without looking. As if cued by something unseen, Ruby turned and gently eased the Dust crystal-powered stove to 'Off', and donned a mitt on her right hand. The scent proved to be even better when the lid was off - it promised a very satisfying meal.

And as Ruby ladled out generous servings, she was slightly (not) surprised to find Nora coming closer, eyes closed and letting her nose lead, followed closely by Ren, Pyrrha and Jaune. "Oooohh... That smells good..."

And suffice to say it all ended up like a picnic.

* * *

Feh... Sorry about the rather hurried ending... I could feel my brain going into meltdown mode... I started writing after work, which ended 8PM US EST, and now it's 10:58... Damn I gotta go to sleep.


End file.
